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Are you a hot-headed person? Do you get angry with every tiny thing happening around you? Does the fear of being forgotten, ignored, or overlooked by others make you angry?Then you are probably at a stage where you want to control your anger, but you can’t. And if you are on that stage, this post is for you.
Nobody likes a short-tempered person around them, not even the person himself. Anger is a common emotion of every human being. Some show it, some don’t, and some take it too far that it affects their relationships, personally or professionally. So before the situation gets out of hand, you should take some effective measures to bring it in control. Eradicating this might not be an easy job, but it is not impossible either.
Anger can be of different forms – it could be subtle – just in your mind, it could be a little irritation, sometimes louder words, sometimes it can even come out as your action – leading towards violence, and even sometimes the way you look at someone. When you lose control over yourself when your words are not the way they should be when you have to regret your words and sometimes even apologize later on saying, “I didn’t mean to say this.” Now when we are saying we didn’t mean to say this, which means you wanted to say something else, but you have said something else, so we have no power over ourselves.
It’s natural to get angry, right? Or do I have a choice? Many of us think anger ‘just happens’ Well, would you get angry with your boss and then abuse him or hit him? No. There are many people in our lives that we respect or fear, or he is in such a place that we cannot disrespect them by saying anything. We are making conscious choices where, when, with whom, how much, and for how long we could get angry, which means that we have the power to make another choice.
So what are those choices we can make to manage our anger? Here are 7 effective and healthy ways that will help us keep calm:
1. Understand it
Identifying the trigger points for your anger is very important. Remember anything or anybody that is disturbing your mental peace is not worth it. The “Losing your mind” this phrase already says you are the one here losing something, not the person in front of you. So what are the things you are losing? Happiness, mental peace, physical health, energy, and power. Understanding the situations is one of the main points to reduce your anger. Sometimes we might misunderstand a particular situation even misinterpret what somebody said. Putting yourself into the shoes of the person in front might give you a clear perspective of the scenario. But if that is not the case and you firmly believe someone has done something wrong or unacceptable, so your anger is justified, then think, you creating anger for their deed and disturbing your peace is the way to tackle it? If there is an issue, you must address it, but their deed should not cause any loss of yours.
2. Pause
The moment you feel you are going to burst out in anger, PAUSE, take a breath and delay your reaction. In that pause, look at your thoughts and consciously choose your reaction. Replace the harsh words; replace all the shouting and aggression with a calmer tone. Look at it like this? Why would you give someone the power to control your emotions, your reactions? The person who might have something troubling you and you, yourself is giving the key away to your anger to them.
Taking a pause always helps in reducing the intensity of your reaction at large. When you pause to decide your words and emotions, you don’t regret after on it, and eventually, you would have the satisfaction of the control you have over yourself. However, by pausing, I don’t mean delaying your reaction indefinitely. That would turn your anger into a giant; your relationship would become bitterer. This won’t help you for long because eventually, it is going to come out someday.
3. Practice relaxation skills
Using relaxation techniques will help to manage your anger on a large scale. One of the most effective ways I would suggest is ‘meditating’ Meditation does not only help in reducing anger, but this ancient lifestyle method helps in making us aware of our self. If regularly practiced, it may help us in seeing things with a different perspective, giving us inner peace, and leading a great life. Not only your mental health, but your physical health also improves if we practice meditating daily for even 15 minutes.
After creating anger and taking it all out on the person, we often don’t find the satisfaction we were supposed to get. This is because anger never comes with satisfaction. They are the polar opposite of each other. Sometimes it even affects our whole day, and the incident leaves a bitter taste in our mouth. So rather than wasting an entire day, we should spend 15 minutes on mediation.
4. Find humor in the toughest of the situations
Ever saw a funny video where people are falling, cars crashing, cycles going off-track, and then falling head over heels. We have all seen these funny videos. What makes those videos funny? The background music, if you just change the background music to an intense one you won’t find it funny anymore, if not sad. It is that much easy to manipulate our brains. In the same situation, the outcomes vary widely. Similarly, when one gets angry in a situation another person finds humor in it.
Often talking about an old fight or a heated situation we find it funny rather than irritating. It is not because of the time that has passed, it was present then also, we just had to look for it. So before jumping into an argument or fight pause and look at the situation finding for humor. Chances are you would find not only one but many aspects of humor that will eventually lighten up the situation and handle the situation much easier, and effectively.
5. Identify your anger type
Anger is an emotion just like love, sorrow, fear, and happiness, but the question is, do we control our emotions, or our emotions control us? If your anger controls your life, then your anger is getting out of hands. Better tame it on an early stage of realization. Each one of us has a different way of expressing our anger. Some people say one or two words and whoosh, they are calm already; some would break things, some would bang their fists to the wall, while some would break people’s faces. If you belong to any of these categories or your type is different, the point is identifying your anger type.
This will help you see who and what trigger you. It’s better to keep a safe distance from them, if not eliminated. Or the next time you are in such a situation, you know, there is a chance of creating anger in your head that would give you a shield of protection as you are already resisting your anger from the beginning.
6.Consider getting professional help
If your anger has engulfed you, if every other person in circle knows that you are an angry monster all the time, and if your best of the relationships are suffering because of your anger I would highly suggest seeking for professional help, not only for the sake of others but for the sake of your health. When a person is angry, the body releases stress hormones, such as adrenaline, noradrenaline, and cortisol. The heart rate, blood pressure, body temperature, and breathing rate increase as a result.
According to MedicalNewsToday, anger that is regular and extreme can, for example, contribute to:
- Backaches
- Headaches
- Hypertension/high blood pressure
- Insomnia
- Irritable bowel syndrome or other digestive disorders
- Skin disorder
- Stroke
- Heart attack
- A reduced pain threshold
- Weekend immune system
Other than physical consequences there are mental consequences that could become a ruling issue. Such as:
- Depression and moodiness
- Eating disorders
- Alcohol and drug abuse
- Self-harm and suicidal ideation
- Low self-esteem
7. Channelize your anger
Stress can be a motivator, and it can even be essential to survival. The body’s fight-or-flight mechanism tells a person when and how to respond to danger. However, when the body becomes triggered too easily, or there are too many stressors at one time, it can undermine a person’s mental and physical health and become harmful.
If you choose not to lash out on a particular situation, you have stored an immense amount of energy from all that adrenaline release. What to do with all that energy? Work towards bringing the social change that made you angry in the first place. Exercise intensely. Work hard. Put all that energy on something worth it.
